let's hop in our time travel machine...

so, one time someone asked about what got me out of bed in the morning and (somewhat separately) whether the immediate obstacles of raising children negate the potential fulfillment in harboring the primal concept of loving/nurturing. the questions came during the time when i was searching for the job i have now, which means that i did not have the job that i have now, which means that i hated everything just a bit more... as such:

it's not that i like kids or oppressed people so damn much but, rather, i can't stand the injustice of the situation. have i already expounded on how i think horatio alger is doing a greater disservice to this country than slavery ever did? don't get me wrong, slavery was really bad but it is precisely because it was so bad that we were able to put an end to it. over time, it became clear that slavery was intolerable. the more it was held up as the natural order by its supporters, the more apparent the obscenity of the situation became. horatio alger and his bullshit fucking bootstraps myth, though, are far more insidious. setting aside the apparent fact that he was a child molester (i just checked him out on wikipedia and found a new reason to loathe him), his 'rags to riches' myth only gets stronger with time and recitation.

'the american dream' is a supersized version of his widely espoused malarkey. it's always problematic when someone who was homeschooled, then sent to a place with 'academy' in its name, and then educated at harvard is allowed to define the path to success for a country's people. especially when his beloved theory finds its way into the eager hands of the evil c's (conservatives). they've lauded his teachings as The counterargument to egregious wastes of taxpayer money on things like 'health care' and 'a decent education' for all. "if you can't get health care for yourself (because you had to drop out of school when you were 14 to raise your siblings so you don't have a high school degree and, therefore, are unqualified for any 1 job that would pay you a reasonable salary and give you benefits so instead you're forced to work 3 part-time jobs that don't offer benefits in order to make just enough money to cover the rent on your 1-bedroom apartment where you live with your 4 children who need to be fed by money you don't have and watched while you're working your 3 jobs), then it's because you're not trying hard enough." clearly. "thank you, mr./mrs. conservative, for figuring out what my problem is. i'm grateful that you stopped eating caviar off of that silver spoon you inherited just by being born for long enough to figure out what my problem is because, frankly, i've been a bit too busy figuring how my family is going to eat next week to run a full situational analysis. how much do i owe you for your insight?"

ok, i think that's enough vitriol spewed in horatio alger's and his conservative counterparts' direction... for today anyway... where the hell was i? oh, right, about to segue from wanting to help kids with cancer to not wanting to have kids of my own. i would say that, yes, the obstacles of raising children negates the potential fulfillment BUT i would add a caveat. the issue is not so much the obstacles (which are considerable, mind you) but the idea that raising small humans is the The Way to be fulfilled.

i am vehemently opposed to people who don't want kids having them. i think that's a terrible idea - almost inevitably, everyone involved gets hurt. it's one thing to buy ugly, imported, expensive boots that were only ever meant to be worn as slippers and wear them out in public with mini-skirts because everyone else is doing it but it's quite another thing to bring another human being into the world just to avoid having to answer any more of aunt mildred's 'when are you ever going to have kids? you know, by the time i was your age...' questions at thanksgiving. in our society though, spawning is held up as The Thing You Do and The Way You Get Fulfilled.

well, i don't think it's The Way to be fulfilled. i think a person can choose what kind of fulfillment they want and where they can find it. some people really are happy just working. other people find fulfillment in a romantic partner and their ability to get up and go, together, without worrying about who will watch the kids, whether jane will remember to bring her science fair project to school, and if bobby will make the choir or be beside himself and beyond consolation. still others find fulfillment doing things for others. individuals need different types and amounts of fulfillment and it's incumbent upon them to figure out what kind they need and where they can get it - from what, from whom. and once they've figure that out, to have the gumption to go after it.


__
well, what it lacks in lucidity it more than makes up for in vim and vigor...